Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Grass is Greener...

My husband and I spent this last weekend with his sister. My sister-in-law is great! She is 31 years old, never married, no kids. She has a wonderful career as a lawyer. She is thin and social and cute. She lives in a wonderful city, but is still near family. She travels with her job and has enough money to travel for pleasure as well. She is debt free. Basically, she has her act together.

I look at her with a bit of envy. I wonder what would have happened if I had made similar choices. I believe that I was probably very much like her in high school, over-achievers, political and very independent. However, somewhere along the road I made the decision that what I really wanted was love, love of a husband and love of children. I put the ball in motion to achieve the things I was looking for. My SIL worked for her goals.

Looking at her life gives me a case of "the grass is greener on the other side"-itis. Sometimes, I long for her freedom, her ability to take care of her own needs without having to put other's first. She and I often have long conversations about life and love, though. Inevitably, these conversations lead to the realization that even though she seems to have the whole world at her fingertips, what she really longs for is someone to share it with. More than everything she has, I think she wants what I have. It makes me wonder if we can ever truly be happy being alone. I know, I know, some people say it but I think that quite possibly there is something innate in us to make us search for our soul mate. I think that is what will also cause us to endure another person's short comings, endure mistreatment and endure terrible stresses that can be caused by a relationship.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if more women could embrace themselves? When you feel happy and loved and fulfilled all on your own, that is when you attract the healthiest relationship.

--The Short of It

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